The Unfortunate

Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with A Series of Unfortunate Events and Neil Patrick Harris.

As mentioned in the title, I am going to talk about part of the unfortunate in my life in this particular post.

The 'unfortunate' that I am going to mention, I can't say it is a true unfortunate but it is considered as part of the unfortunate because I believe there are more unfortunates in this world. I am truly fortunate enough to have this life, good food, good life, good education, good family everything is fine for me. Part of the unfortunate of my life is not getting much friends, especially male friends in general. I do have male friends, just less.

And also, much and enough doesn't correspond in this post. I have just the enough and fine amount of friends in term of quality, but not in terms of quantity. It's not ashamed to have less friends but the amount of peers I have is just, inadequate.

I used to be in an all boy school during my secondary years. Chances of me knowing and recognizing male friends was certainly higher. But due to some issue, I didn't survive my high school years with bunch of friends. Interpersonal relationship is complicated, I believe everyone encounter it at least once in their life. End up having my life somehow incomplete because rumor has it, you have to graduate with bunch of friends so you get a life. (meh) After high school, I entered college and currently an English Major student.  (Don't question about what am I gonna do after I graduate, save it later.)

Apparently, there is not much male friends in this particular course I am taking. The ratio of female to male students in this particular course is 8:2. Yes, you're right, 8:2 and 2 is for male, seriously. It is a situation where I didn't even imagine before. Having so many years in secondary without a girl, and it changed completely after I entered college. In my mind, I was thinking when I entered college I am gonna be a freshman and be friends with all kind of people and have a gang of bros so we can slay the monsters or discuss about games all day and all night. Also, having to stay in cyber cafes and be a cyber kinda person in my college life with bunch of others gamer boys and stuff. (YOLO to some point at least, make your life worth)

Things didn't go quite well with what I expect. I end up knowing more about cosmetics and skincare and gossips more than games. I am not saying this is not good, at least I get to learn something from the counterpart of male friends. My college mates and I don't actually hang out. A no for yumcha (high tea) as most of my college mates seem to be having their own business to mind. I am keen to stay with a smaller circle so to be honest I don't have much friends in college too. I only workout with those their personality suits me better and we can work and live better. Even we have no time for yumcha or stuff, at least I can get my work done and I feel really soothed and calm to have a few mates who are willing to work together to produce quality work for assignments. So far so good so keep it up.

This wishlist maybe weird, but one of the wish on my wishlist is to have a gang of male friends that we could hang out all time and talk about life together. Aim for the future and see things together. Life may be easier and a lot nicer with a gang of  bros with chemistry and good rapport. Nevertheless, I enjoy my current life for having what I have now. It is a lot more fortunate than some others in this enormous world with all sorts of possibilities.

I appreciate everything in my life and I hope it can be better. Well, I welcome friends to come into my life. Just make sure less drama, that will do the job. Peace.

聞

我不沾花惹草 因為我只想對她好

我不會單獨跟女生出去 因為我怕她不放心

我會自動跟其他女生保持距離 因為沒必要刻意靠近

我會時時刻刻關注她 哪怕只是打個噴嚏我都會擔心是不是受寒了

我不會過於約束 因為每個人都需要自己的空間

我不求付出會有回報 因為感情是互相的

我會擔心她 那是因為我會在意她

總結 我不會做讓她擔心的事

我只想安安靜靜的定下來

慢慢一起經營感情珍惜對方

感恩人生路上遇見你 我知道這很難得

害怕受傷但是遇見你了就想給彼此一個機會

互相磨合 互相遷就 互相學習

說的永遠不必做的來得好

能做的我會好好做 做不到的也會去爭取

我選的聞 我就會好好的愛下去

To care or not to care in relationship / long distance relationship

Recently I encountered some problems in life in some aspects. For academic aspect, it is going well and improvement can be seen so it shouldn't be a big problem now, I will just proceed with my work and work it out to ensure my result is maintained. And now I am proceeding to second year in University. Hope everything goes well and god bless me.

  The problem that I realized is that sometimes I care too much in certain aspect, for example, relationship. I can say I am a tender kind of personality that often prioritized the other half. I know it is not easy to meet the right one and eventually get together so I care a lot to ensure everything goes smooth. There is no problem with the relationship thing, just I realized that sometimes it is not too good to care too much.

  I realized the problem and I tried to overcome it and I came up with these few things.

  Don't overthink. This is a serious issue as people tend to overthink about what will happen next in life. One does not simply predict the future so one doesn't have to spend so much time to think about the unknown, live at the moment and eventually you will become more delight. Focus on your current work or job or chores and responsibility. Do what you always do and avoid the negative thoughts that you think it MIGHT happen. Having a plan is fine, just plain plan that will guide you to a clearer path, but not direct it to the overthinking path which will turn a normal person to a psychopath.

  Trust your partner and whatever they are doing. Since my partner is far apart from me where we are not living together for the mean time, I always try to practice some other kind of activities to prevent the overthinking situation from happening. Do not always make them your everything, all time every time. You live your life and you need to find something else to do, perhaps some exercises, gathering with friends, hanging out to catch a movie or even accompany your family members. Sometimes I do feel boring when I am too free but my partner is not available, and I got nothing to do. I miss her and I tell her every time, still you have to find something else to do. Make your life an interesting one, self-entertained and always share what you do when you spend your time alone. I am quite certain that your partner would want to know what you're up to when he or she is not around. Other than that, I am also certain that your partner did the same thing as well when you're not around. Spend your time wisely with your partner as long as they wanna have a chat, to make sure that both of you feel connected, mentally. And you will feel peace about everything. Tell them you love them and meet up and have a talk sometimes, to make the bond between you two closer.

  Well, it doesn't mean that I am telling you not to think about your partner, but try to balance it with your routine.

  It is hard to maintain a long distance relationship. Some people may encounter time difference as they live in different country. Plan for a trip that you fly to him or her just to meet her for a couple days or even weeks, just to keep him or her accompany. I bet those who are in a relationship, especially long distance relationship tend to be happier and glad when they finally meet their partner after a long time. So plan well and always communicate to let you feel you are still there. 

  But the most important criteria in all these cases is --- Trust. As long as you trusted your partner and your partner trusted you, it should be fine. Love will overcome problems as long as two of them managed and able to secure the path they are walking. Hence, a relationship can be maintain well and long lasting.

  I will be back when I got something to share. For now, I am gonna make my life interesting by looking for something else to do after I done typing here since my partner is not around. Oh ya by the way, I love you my cutiepie baby gf <3

2016年9月2號

不打算說很多 只想要把東西乾淨利落的說完就好

大概帶過就行了 雖然沒什麼時間但是還是想來更新這裡

首先 這個學期的確是個難熬的學期 功課非常之多基本上沒什麼時間

有時間也把時間放在別的中心上面了 比起以往的學期這學期真的煎熬

功課上面遇到了豬一般的隊友一直拖功課 導致精神狀況都不是很好了

畢竟要陪他們一起耗時間來完成工作 長達14個星期

現在總算是告一段落了 考試即將來臨也在努力的啃著書

相信我一定能做到 並且順利地往大二的路走

次要 雖然都在趕著做功課 也不忙聯繫一下身邊朋友建立社交圈
前幾篇發的文如果有在關注的人都會知道我提及了一位心理學的朋友
那剛認識的時候可能沒什麼反應 但是後來也沒人保證有什麼會發生事
就這樣化學作用起了效果 那位我稱之為‘cyninge’的朋友
現在變成了本人的女朋友 愛無界限我也沒料到
我們終於牽手了 接下來的路就繼續的好好走下去吧
感謝上天讓我遇見你

再來 最近壓力有點大 因為有太多東西要處理 大多屬於課業上的問題
得到的功課分數雖然不是說很高 就必須要努力的考好試了
我不怪罪于我的同學 也希望他們能夠考好來

只是個人修養與態度問題 希望他們能夠好好改善畢竟以後沒人會幫他善後
人際關係也是一門學問 我希望搞好這門學問才能夠向更遠的路邁進

大概就差不多是這樣了 月尾考完后就要去散心了

希望一切都能夠做好 身邊的人事物也都保持下去
唯獨自身目標必須不斷前進 才能有條件在社會上立足
要能夠獨當一面面對挑戰 才能夠變得更加強大

才能夠繼續做自己愛做的事 繼續愛自己愛的人與家人

  

Me Before You - review from Jack

“You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.” 
― Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

  This movie is a recent hot search title, on websites, social networks, and the whole internet is discussing about this particular movie, which is based on the novel, Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. Why is this movie such trending after it's released? We will see that later. Today I'm here to talk about my opinion about this movie.

  Two days ago, which is 3rd of June, I went for this movie not because of I really want to watch it. Since my friends are asking is there anybody want to watch it. For me, I don't actually fond of this kind of romance title movie as I'm a big fan of Marvel and DC superheroes movies, I prefer some action film rather than this genre of film range. Since I never read the novel before so I really don't have any idea on how is the storyline is going on and how is it going to act. I went in to the dark cinema with chilly air-conditioner, to enjoy the vibes that it exerts.

  About this particular movie, all I can say it's quite fascinating after I watched it and astonished at the same time. First of all, the last same line movie that I watched was 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green. Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters both suffer from severe cancer which end up dying. As for Will Traynor from this movie, well, I think he's kinda selfish if you view it from a third person point of view, as there are people around who care about him, he shouldn't just end his life like that, leave everything and left. Which this is what most people think of after they watched this movie.

  Try to stand at the point of view of Will's parents and Clark's, you might get a different idea from that. As parents, obviously you don't want your child to just pick a way which end up giving up their life, they tried to make him feel better and try to change his mind of committing suicide after the accident. Parent's will always care about their children no matter what, as parents we can't just let our child to end his life that easily as there are still hope out there, for them. As for Louisa Clark, she loves him deeply, like real much. She meant a lot to him and he meant a lot to her, mutualism I guess. But what Clark didn't realised is Traynor's feeling in the first place. Traynor used to be an outgoing adventurous person, he is a dreamer, adventurer who step out for everything, explore and do anything that he wants, freedom can be seen on him before that accident.

  After accident, that is a trauma for him, paralysed below neck part, end up he only get to speak but do nothing, sitting on the wheel chair for the rest of his life. It's a doomsday for him, as what he did before the accident were all past, he can't do it anymore in the rest of his life. The ownself that he meant he was is the old him, the freedom him. The current situation is like an end of his life, worse than killing him, giving him an ultimate punishment for his life. Standing at his point of view, indeed, it's a never ending nightmare, he suffers everyday just to get out of this mess but he can't. That's why he is so eager to die as he doesn't want to live a life like this.

  Overall experience for this movie is still quite good though, the story line showed some sense of humor between the conversation of two selves. The ending is, well, as expected, if you love something you have to let it go, that's what came into my mine right after I came out from the theatre.

  Depends on which side you're standing. If I were Will Traynor and I've met my Louisa Clark, I will still try to live until the day where I think it's enough, then only I will plan for the next step. But before that, I will try to live by her side as, if I love her, I will stay for her. Well, that's some pieces of opinion after this movie. See you guys in the next one. Peace.

Semester's challenge

 Finals week is here. The coffee game is kinda strong for these few weeks as I'm staying up for late night studies. UTAR finals ain't easy, so gotta work hard for that. Study, study and study, that's all I need to do for now. Enjoy the shit fun after the finals. Even if it is an essay written form paper will get me nervous. I'm an English major but I take this seriously as it will certainly affect my future studies and of course my CGPA until the day I graduate.

  I'm glad that I'm still able to socialize within these exam weeks as socializing in Uni life is a crucial part as stepping stones to success. You meet new people all the time, and sometimes you get along with them, It starts with having mutual respect with others by having conversation and conduct activities together. You wouldn't know maybe you will be needing their help in the future, so its about time to build your own bridge to success for your future by get to know some people around you, get to know what their achievements are and then learn from it, get the experience and excel.

  Apparently, my social circle is getting bigger and bigger as semester passes. I get to know people from other courses or even people from the other faculties, which is good for me as I'm able to understand others life as well and get acknowledge. For example, the psychology student, who I call her a 'cyninge' (Old English), is a good girl and a good friend. She's going to have her internship next semester so she will not be around for the whole semester. As a friend I wish her good luck in every aspects and come back soon, I'm eager to get to know her more and advance our friendship, erm, I actually mean STRENGTHEN it. Anyway, she's cute haha.

  Improving myself is also a challenge for myself in this three years, to become a better person and learn how to make myself a better self. For academic studies, I'm still improving my skills in writing and typing a better essay or article, proofreading peoples assignments and read more articles and novels. As for mentally, I relax being a student and I do socialize a lot than before, so it is much better now as your mind broaden, you learn, you will eventually change the way you think and solving problems, that's the way to improve yourself.

  Alright, I still have finals paper to deal tomorrow and I'm suppose to sleep now. All the best for the coming papers and wish y'all have a good day or night. Will get back here to work soon.

Relationship kinda thing

 

Not sure if I'm having a topic with me, I just feel like to update this blog at this hour. Well, without a topic is really hard to start a conversation and a blog post. At least, a topic for me to talk about anything, I'd really just talk about anything. Currently I am having that kind of feeling which I wish to express myself again but I don't know how to express it, it's like having butterflies in my head but not my stomach. Just ughhhh.

  After I finished my first paragraph, I kinda got an idea on what to write. Just have some decent conversation with my friends in the basketball field at this hour and I kinda recalled what happened back then. So, I'll just make the title of this post as relationship, which is a thing that everyone in this world has it. So basically it's the bond that you hold with someone else, no matter how shallow or how deep the relationship is, it's call a relationship even your nemesis, just that kind of nemesis relationship, still considered as relationship.

  This is not going to be a long post as I feel so vague in talking about relationships. It's complicated. Definitely there will be some kind of argument in every relationships no matter it's kinship, friendship, broship, sisship, romance or something else, it's a relationship. I'm not going that deep talking about this topic as I'm still an amateur, especially the romance part. The last one just hurt me so damn much which I barely stand that time. And yeah, I cried of course. Such remarkable incident that I actually cried for a girl which is not even my family member and will never be, how pathetic.

  So I am just going to sums up the whole thing by using only one sentence,

  I will go on for a relationship when the time has come, today is 8th of March in 2016, I'm still not ready for the next one yet, thanks to the last one which was so 刻骨铭心 for me which I recalled it during the conversation. And probably she's living with happiness right now, with another part that was told he will never appear until she thinks the time has come, and I think the time for her has come. Congrats anyway. And, ya, you influenced my life, like so much.

  What a long sentence I have with me, that's all. If you insist me to sums up the whole thing using one word, this will be the word.

  Insecure.

Lost stars

 On the journey of being a humankind, from the moment you were born, you're registered as a runner for life. From the beginning until the end; from live to death, there will be a never ending journey until the day your heart stop functioning. Well, it's not really a long marathon without stops in between. Many factors can make us to stop or proceed to the next level of the run of your life. Your result in the end depends on the actions and steps you take to reach the next level, different steps or actions may lead to different results. You are responsible for your own preference.

  Since young, you were taught to learn this and that, adapt what a life would be and hence make it better. Parents guide you until the level where you are able to do things on your own, they play an important role in deciding what your life would be in the future. Since young, you're taught to play your role good, do according to instructions, spoon-feeding educations and here comes the real challenge - Adulthood.

  What's so different with adulthood? Maybe for insects, it's considered as metamorphosis. Maybe for humankind, it's a transformation from everything dependent to everything independent, sounds hard for particular people but adapting yourself into this new world full of challenge is a huge challenge indeed. Everything changed the moment you leave your nest, your home, your hometown, your parents or maybe your so called 'boyfriends or girlfriends'. The phrase Live Your Life has never been so real until you started to experience it yourself after you leave.

  On the journey, you will meet a lot of people, been to a lot of places no matter how prestigious or how insignificant it is. You explore the life in front of you by yourself, find the true self of you, the inner part of you, and learn how to be a better self. On this journey, you can be inspired by people, by their personal experiences, their past stories and also all kind of comments. Meeting new people ain't that bad, you just have to adjust yourself to fit in it. Humans are inertial animal, so you just have to change yourself in order to survive. It might be hard at the start but eventually you will know what to do and how to deal with problems. Always be optimistic and inspired. Encouragements from others are good though, making a positive image for those who need.

  Sometimes, you feel lost, you don't have a direction, you're insecure, you're not sure which way to march in and continue your journey. At this moment, don't ever stop exploring, don't stop your journey because you're stuck. Take whatever way to continue your journey cause you don't know what will happen next and where the way will lead you to. A lot of people stop at this point because they scare they will fall, and once fall they consider themselves as failure and thus given up. That's really not the real way of life. Life is about testing out new things, exploring your life so you are able to find the real way that suits you the best and continue with the journey that you desired. That's the way of making it out, face the problems not frigging run away from it. Escaping will not get the problem done and sometimes it make it worse. Just work it out when you're lost, eventually you will found something that's worth all the time you spent on it.

  It's okay to have a stop when you're tired but never give up. Giving up in life means end, death. Remember why you start and why God chose you as a participant- to make you a better person. Life is like a drawing block, you are the artist and you design your masterpiece. Change to a new environment when you feel like to, be flexible, human are meant to be creative and not to live in a dull way. Be creative, you create your own life. Changing an environment will always lead you to a new way of living your life and creating yourself on who you are. Just keep that in mind.

  Always remember, stay positive, explore the life yourself and keep changing until you find the best way to live your life. Don't ever give up on life cause God trusted you. Find yourself in the journey of life, not just living like walking dead. Find yourself, get a life, change until you find the best in you.

Inspired by : J.Y. Chin

Day 7 in UTAR

  As I mentioned in the title, day 7 in University Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR). Everything just fine and went smoothly within the past week. Recently I'm quite busy with some chores so I don't really have time to update this little blog. Since I'm here and today is weekend, other than having to deal with assignments, I've decided to spare some time to update this blog for reference purpose, as get stuck in between assignments and homework is boring. To refresh my mind before I start to do my work again , this place is a good getaway for me.

  First of all, the campus is gorgeous, as the scenery in this campus is quite fascinating. As I don't really took photos of the campus so I will just borrow some of photos from Google below later. The weather here is freakish, 5 mins before the sun is shiny and freaking hot, 5 mins later you can see heavy downpour just happen right in front of you. So umbrella is an essential tool with me to deal with this kind of weather that can instantly kill somebody who is not used to it. Too frustrated.

Here are some landscape of the campus (pictures resource www.google.com, I don't owned those photos):

GRAND HALL OF UTAR KAMPAR (1)

GRAND HALL OF UTAR KAMPAR (2)

GRAND HALL OF UTAR KAMPAR (3) SIDE VIEW




GRAND HALL OF UTAR KAMPAR (4) SIDE VIEW





FACULTY OF ARTS & SOCIAL SCIENCE, FICT, INSTITUTE OF CHINESE STUDIES





LIBRARY (BLOCK G)

HERITAGE HALL (BLOCK A)




HERITAGE HALL WITH CONFUCIUS AND ALBERT EINSTEIN STATUE





WEST LAKE




LAKE OF UTAR KAMPAR, SURROUNDING

  These photos are some of the landscape and scenery around the campus though there are still much more buildings around the campus. Anyway, the scenery here for me is quite good. Mountains and hills and lakes. A decent place for study.

  As for the workload in campus, still yet to be discover and it's still the first week. I'm still adapting to the culture here and the way people living here. Basically this area doesn't have much entertainment and if you're from urban area and let's say if you are a party animal or social freak I assume that you won't like this place as there is no shopping malls or pubs or clubs nearby. The nearest located near Ipoh which will take around 1 hour of driving to reach there, which I think still quite some distance from the campus. But eventually you will use to this place.

  Assignments and coursework are provided and you have to do it and probably for all the students here. Rumors from local students are heard that it's a University that is easy to enter but require efforts to graduate. So all the best for all the students here and hope you can excel as well as finding your way of life here.

  There are old town and new town which is significant for newly intake students to take note. Both the towns with their own styles. Literally, old town, old building that somewhat resemblance old decades with all kinds of old shop and perhaps a wet market. Too bad I don't have photos to provide because I haven't visit the whole town yet. A town that you will find nostalgia in it. As for new town, literally new town with lots of shops and supermarket and sports complex and all kinds of buildings including The Grand Kampar Hotel, student hostel, housing area, local secondary school and also Westlake International School. Waiting for you to discover yourself.

WESTLAKE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL

THE GRAND KAMPAR HOTEL

  Anyway, it's a new place to discover. Neither a luxurious nor austere town, just average. I would recommend this place if you're searching for a tranquil place to continue your studies. A choice of yours, it depends on yourself. Different universities has different policies. These are just my opinions and it's just for reference purpose. Lastly, I hope I can cope with it. Best of luck to myself and it's time to head back to do my assignments.



Peace guys, see you in the next one.

New life

  Years ago I was wondering about the years in future that I would have to do all the things by myself and live alone in either a big cage of a city or somewhat an off urban area where I conduct my own works or studies without my family and friends. Seems like the situation is just about to happen where I have to leave my nest, start a new life out there which I could really start a new chapter of my life where I write my own life on my notebook. But just before it happens, I want to say something about that life that is just around the corner to me.

  The country where I live, the education system is something like this :

Pre-school : 4-6 year old
Primary school : 7-12 year old
Secondary plus Highschool : 13-17 year old (age differs for everyone, for me it's this)

another extra part of highschool (which is consider as pre-university, there are still different path to pursue studies)

  The moment that I was back in the pre-university part, I was expecting to get a brand new life there as the result and the life from past secondary years wont be take in as a part of the pre-u session. But then I realized that I was wrong. The definition of starting a brand new life is to be in a new environment with new challenges. I met new challenges but not a new environment. Environment is truly a challenge to most of the people as people normally make decisions depends on the current situation, not always the best solution but certainly useful and help for the current situation.

  The difference between starting a new life after you're release from the jail for committed some crimes and maybe after 5 years you are release and starting a new life in university with nobody else beside you, neither family nor friends, just you alone on your own is that, coming out from jail people will automatically place u a tag of "bad guy", i mean most of the people out there, and for a university newbie it's just a place where u are there, meeting new friends and environment, adapt that situations and live yourself there (the availability of friends differs from person, don't get friendzoned)

  So for those freshmen in university or college, try to adapt the situation there and walk yourself out of the comfort zone that you used to be. Happy go lucky and have a wonderful life. Peace.

自己 是什麼樣子

人生短短 說長不長 硬要坳也就那幾十年 幸運的話勤勞保養也不過就百歲已經很不錯了。常常聽別人說要成為自己想要成為的人 做想要做的事 小時候在記事本里填寫著以後長大要做這個那個。覺得警察很帥抓壞人 所以要做做警察 覺得醫生很有愛心可以救人 所以要做醫生 覺得軍人很忠心保衛國家 所以要做軍人 覺得什麼事情只要是長大都能夠完成 但逐漸的發現 長得越大越想要挽回小時候那天真的時光 不會有人去在意你做什麼說什麼 到處都是人陪你 帶你一起成長。

  漸漸地 我長大了 老大不小的二十了。夏天尾巴秋天開頭 年末了 來臨的幾個月後就要二十一了。小時候覺得長大好好 做什麼都沒拘束 要幹嘛就幹嘛 父母不會來煩你 鬧你 問東問西；長大後離家 想念的卻是父母的嘮叨 父母在身邊 能夠與手足一起鬧 那些時光其實很短暫 趁早珍惜能夠享受的一切吧 孝道也要盡 不要子欲養而親不待。

  越是大覺得越難做人 越孤獨。中學生涯有一群打打鬧鬧的朋友 一起逃課一起鬧一起吃喝玩樂 友好的一起吃 壞的一起挺。畢業後各奔東西 你忙你的我忙我的 你去北邊的大學 我去南邊的大學 他去東邊而他西邊 也不知道下一次見面是什麼時候 雖然想念他們但不會常常聯絡 因為我們都知道彼此都在罩著彼此不管身在何處 心都是一起的。然而 面對的困難不只對外要應酬 漸漸的發覺 失去了自己。小時候說什麼做什麼的自己 不見了。

  最難的是就是成為自己喜歡的樣子 但其實很多時候 我們都不知道自己其實是什麼樣子 那才是真正的問題。偶爾會聽見別人問你 以後要做什麼 相信大多數人的反應應該是 不知道 不清楚 不曉得 。如果是在我這個年齡層還在上大學的朋友們 我是說大多數 就覺得是這樣 沒做過什麼調查  就憑感覺認為是這樣。根據自己的觀察得到的結果是 自己越來越沉默寡言 除了跟平時友好的幾個瘋子朋友之外 都不怎麼想去面對外面的人 不是因為覺得陌生什麼 就是覺得現階段還沒必要去應酬這個那個 而且讀書都忙個半死了 哪還有時間精力去外面跟陌生人打聲招呼說聲好 累都累爆了。除了表示孤獨以外 學習堅強也是必備的了 自己在外面生活不會比在家裡來的幸福。慵懶的態度也該收手了。

  寫這篇文章並不會讓自己心情變好 就是抒發的管道。抒發過程中也要找尋自己想要的是什麼 想要變成什麼樣子 然後努力去實踐 不管最後結果如何。累了就休息 好了再繼續走 找不到方向的話就思考。腦是生來用的 不是放著生鏽的。

  路還很長 還得繼續走。期待下一站 會有著什麼樣的風景 等著自己去探索。

Basically just upset

 


One and a half month from now, I will be going to pursue my uni life. Seems long but not really, the day will be there with just a blink of eyes. Time flies, I'm almost adult. Things that you learnt from the past not really help in the future but somewhat some kind of situation, it helps. So, I'm going to learn from now, prepare from now on how to take good care of myself, discipline myself well, train myself well before I enter University ; a place that I call it 'pre-society'.

  Ever since the first day you're born, your family baby sit you until the age of teenager. Then you continue your life until the end of your life. Not being too pessimism, you are going to find the way of life by yourself alone because nobody will help you to continue your life journey. Always, cherish the moment you have with your family while you still have the time to do so before it's too late, no matter what kind of situation you have, always cherish them because they are the one only who will support you no matter what, as blood is thicker than water.

  Life's hard sometimes and you just have to bear it. Uni life ain't easy, so do society. Just make sure that you get your job done and don't get yourself in trouble. No matter how busy you are with your work or study, have a break. Rest and always remember to contact your friends and family, get yourself some time to chill with them, because they are one of a kind, the most important part of your life.

  Always, when you're stress out and having tension, relax at the moment, enjoy the moment of silence and remember the one you miss, your family, your friends, peeps. Call them and talk to them, you will feel better. As family is always your life support, guide of life.

Friends, harsh but wise

 As usual, some random night I will start playing Dota2 with my bros if we're free. Better if a few of us as a team, we play better and definitely more fun out there. We laugh together, smile together and make noise together. But sometimes things just happen and the situation just turn harsh. Yeah, I mean Harsh. When we lose, we quarrel. Well I think that's just part of discussion on how to be a better team, not always quarrel but sometimes. I just don't mind it if the mistakes are there.

  As friends, we always criticize each other as fun. Somewhat making the team more friendly. But shit turns real intense when the words are getting harder and the point target to someone who are sensitive enough to start a fight. An initiator? Well.. hmm.. that's the point I relate right under my mind, the word just flash in front of me. That's not a point, im just using an adjective. But I always know that they are not blaming just saying out their opinion. (well, we are the assholes that judge people around until they become those things that we insult, totally jerk)

  Everything has another face, nothing is really perfect in this world. Best friendship not always laugh and happy always but mixing with somewhat some sort of another part. Friends play an important role in our life. If i really have to give it a sequence in my life I'd said that it will be the place right after my family, considered as important person to me. Sometimes the words getting harsh and the debate tournament start. They are not really that mean but sometimes those words are harsh, I don't take it really serious because everyone has their own life to live, they might having other issues or problems that annoyed them really much. They just don't say it out and keep it in heart. The feeling burst when the debate tournament started, words are mean but they need to release those negative energy in order to feel better. As a friend, a bro, I learnt to tolerate them and listen to them, Then guide them, that's the point of friends and bro.

  Tolerating doesn't mean you lose your point, sometimes it just take you to another platform. Try to stand on your friends point of view to look at the situation, try to be considerate and try to tolerate and learn to accept it even though sometimes the words are just shitty annoying. RESPECT each other is a key point in order to maintain no matter what kind of relationship you have with others, and to everyone else in this world. As a support i will always try to support them if they are in problems, my solutions aren't always the bad but I tried to give you what i can to help. But sometimes, they are just assholes without mercy which I really don't have eyes to see their attitude hahaha.

  Friends are mean to guide. learn and go together no matter what kind of situation we all meet. Of course, you have to choose your friends wisely in order to learn how to walk together as a team. Then only you will learn the wise way to carry on a long lasting friendship with your buddies. I really appreciate the time I spend with you guys even though we seldom meet each other,

But our hearts are always link together as one, as a team. Bros for life, cheers!! *brofist*

Days of future past of my life and friends

  Today is the day which the result of getting a place into local University is release. As what I've expected and predicted, shit was given from mr government as my result is not really excellent as expected. Everything comes with effort, I didn't put much effort during my school days. I don't regret for studying science stream though, I take it as a lesson, an experience.

  With a little bit of down feeling, cause im getting nothing, as well as the feeling of grateful to see my friends around getting the qualifications of getting themselves into a local U. Although some of them didn't get they wish for but still they get something at least. A pass to higher rank of education rank, it's not distinct but a chance to change your life comparing with those who are not getting a chance to attend universtiy.

  As what I've expected, so I've already applied for private University in my country too, but another state far away from my hometown. It takes around 6 hours to reach one destination from each. By train and also by bus. I've been to the university to check the campus there and also did some survey before it. Try to understand everything before i set my mind to study at that place. It is not an easy decision to make though, since I've already done with it, the offer letter is the only thing im waiting now before i proceed to the next step of my life.

  Campus life is nice ( at least now i still think it's nice before the real tortures come, ha). From my buddy who are currently studying in that uni now, efforts are paid in order to acquire a pass? Well, maybe not much effort he paid i guess haha, ooopss.

  Looking forward for my Uni life coming soon. Hope  there will be no more obstacles until the day I start studying there, I pray for the best and also I hope all my friends will all be doing good in their own way and own life, stay safe and happy studying. Proceed to the next level of studying and also the next level of life. It may be tough but face it and fight it, that's it.

  Stay strong peeps, peace out.

Complaints about current job

Yeah, I believe everybody will complaint about their work. No matter what kind of work they are having, definitely there will be uproars among the people. Saying that, man this shit is tough for me and they ain't something good for me it's ruining my life my time and whatsoever. Always, I'm facing people who complaint about their work, stressful ; somebody complaint about their perks, nuisance and back stabbing colleague who are going to betray or kick your ass anytime. Employees life are quite simple. Job in a nutshell, complaints, get the work done and get your money every month. It goes on and on and on until the day you're old, tired of that shit, and retire.

  As for me, last year I just finished my A-level studies and here comes the big sembreak that I have. Just in case not to make my life too bored as I'm a part time blogger, staying at home will be way too boring for me. I seldom enjoy nightlife in my town as I don't really fond of noisy environment. A Hulk-be-like will appear if the situation gets too extreme. So, recently (actually starting of this year) I've got myself a job as a sales advisor in one of the telco centre. Well, everyone has stories about their life and job, either do I.

  Not going to spend much time on how i spend this five months time but certainly it is not a good time as the job I'm having right now really sucks, the time back I spent study was better. Although those books are stomping me like I'm really going to suffocate in the sea of knowledge. Job, it means the start when you start get in touch with the reality, the society, going to meet the world and see how the world is going on and running everyday. Job sucks, but people bear it just to ensure they are fed and continue to live to earn money and feed themselves. The cycle repeats until the day you die. If you don't enjoy your work. Living in a stressful working condition making me a sick person and I'm getting tired of my life. I have my dream to work as a freelance blogger, writing articles about things, explore the world and travel around the world and built my own house and life. Definitely not sitting in a hut  like counter waiting for people to come and serve them as they thought I SHOULD BE doing that as granted, as a must.

  As my job is somehow related to services, people always thought that provide them the best services is our main job. Yes, definitely we have to service and serve you well, my dear customer. BUT, please don't take my kind hearted well warm service and big smile as granted as I'm not the one in charge of your trouble. I just do what I can do, help what I can help. I don't have the right to interfere everything and problems you're having, and please, don't take everything as granted as I am not necessary to do so if I refuse to do so.

  We face problems, but it doesn't mean that we have to hide it or just skip it. We face it and solve it. No matter the time when you solve the problems or you failed to do so, you learnt. You stand up again and reconsider about the situation, making new strategies and hypothesis to solve it. Life is always a process of learning, everything. I complaint, and I've learnt at least how this society is going on and gain some experience. The next time will be better if we are well prepared. Soldiers of life should never stand back even though facing hard times. Learn and solve, then only your life will get smoother, as you yourself are the only one who built the road and route for your life.

  Well, most of the words above are just about me complaining about my job. Anyway I'm going to quit soon and getting ready for me degree studies end of this year. What awaits me is still job when I've graduated and the society I'm going to face. So, just get it straight and face it with optimistic point of view.

Coffee, tea or me?

 

If you ask me what's the favourite drink, I won't be answering you until I brought you to the coffee shop nearby or a cafe, and you will know what I'm craving for. Yes, I'm officially a coffee addict since the day I started consume caffeine. I am not sure why I fall in love with coffee or just coffee fall in love with me. One day without coffee makes Jack a dull man. Well, most likely like a marijuana consumer without having it for days *applause for addicted to it*

  Seriously if comparing to tea, drinking coffee is much more exciting as it contains caffeine that will stimulate the nerve web in your mind (kind of). As a biology student, I briefly explain the use of coffee, its time taking though and im lazy. Im not dare to say that I've taste all kinds of coffee in this world but if I got the chance I will do so, its tasty. Tea calms my mind but coffee make it energetic, oh yeah what a nice drink.

  For me, I'm more into Latte as I personally prefer the milk taste in the coffee. Americano is the second choice of mine, either sweet as latte or empty like americano. Drinking americano just to taste the sense of pure coffee without any sweetener. Mocha is more like a chocolate drink mix with coffee with a lot of chocolate taste, which i prefer to drink it seperately. The sweetness sometimes choke me up and I dislike that, ughh.

  As for Espresso, I don't really drink it as the way to drink it is a little bit different from the other coffee. A small cup of espresso is provided with a glass of hot water. I'm still working out with it though, sounds noob hahaha.

  Well, that's all for coffee. I really love it and I couldn't live without it. Better than any else drink in this world (except for alcohol) *grin*

What am I actually

It's confused to know what am i sometimes. I have a body, humanoid. But what's inside me nobody knows and I am confused with myself too. Sometimes I ask myself, do you have something to do with your life and what's your plan? I hardly answer it cause i'm not sure about that. People tend to have dreams in their life but mine seems to be a little bit far away from me and it sound like hard to achieve but I still hope I can do it someday, to learn something new, travel somewhere else and meet new people in life or perhaps do something meaningful.

  Some people dream of becoming a politician, which to me i think they are filthy and corrupted. Some people dream of becoming an economist, which i don't really care about as long as the currency stay stable. Some people dream of becoming some famous kid in just one night with millions of views on Youtube. As long as they can achieve their dream, it's worth all. But when i ask myself what am I and what i want, i don't know how to answer cause those dreams seems to be so far that I'm afraid not to dream of it as if not achieving it is kinda sad and frustrating matter.

  There are a list of things that i wish to do:
I want to learn how to play musical instruments ; Family will not be supporting my choice
I want to travel to somewhere else alone ; I don't have so much money to do so
I want to set sail to somewhere else and not coming back ; I kinda need a corsair and tonnes of food
I want to live in the ocean ; I'm not a fish and I don't have gills
I want to move out from the house and live alone : I still have some responsibilities to my family
I want to become fatter as I'm underweight ; eating junk foods doesn't really helping me in gaining weight
I want to be a magical creatures, perhaps a devil ; Satan refuse to recruit me as his disciples
I want to study what I'm interested in ; A better pointer is needed in examinations and even I do so it's luck speaking whether to got the course that I desire to study
I want to hate all the people in this world ; Aries boy seems to have some problems in quarreling and hating people for a long time and I don't know people from all over the world
I want to hide myself in a box and live alone or with my bunny ; The reality will find us very quickly or instantly and bring us back to the reality, damn
I want to say more about what I want to do ; but there are still bunches of things i want to do and I won't be able to say it all here

  I wish to achieve my dreams but it seems too far, I love to read but I don't have much books and time to read. I love to draw but my drawing skill is utterly damn shit lousy, not even abstract. I love to eat but food seems to be disgusting sometimes.

  People tend to dream, but some dreams are just dreams as it's just imaginations. You are born to face the reality and this is the reality. Money can but you dreams, not all but most of them. I wish I have tonnes of money so I can travel, learn, buy things i like and have time to do whatever I like.

  Signifying nothing.